Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am not a lover of animals. It’s not that I have been bitten or mistreated by an animal, nor that I am frightened of them. I just think that anything that is able to lick its own bum, and does so, is not good company for me!! That said, I am not an animal hater either, I just don’t want the damn things near me or my property. Things like horses and hamsters are fine, they are either in a field or in a cage, no, it is dogs and cats that are my gripe. So let’s deal with dogs first.
No matter how many times someone tells me that their dog doesn’t bite I don’t believe them. What they really mean is that it hasn’t bitten anyone YET!!! And I have no intention of being the first. When you see an imitation of the hound of the Baskervilles racing towards you jaws wide open it’s no good shouting to me it won’t hurt you. If you can’t control it – get it on a lead. If you want your dog to run free, take it into the middle of nowhere, not the local park. And what about those people that cuddle their dogs and let them lick their faces . . .it licks it’s bum for god’s sake, how hygienic is that. More often now I see dog owners carrying poop bags to clean up after their dogs, but still not all of them by any means. That means piles of yacky stuff all over the place just waiting for the unwary to stand in them. It’s even worse in the park. You can’t see it very well on the grass and I for one am truly sick of having to scrape it off my shoe, or worse, getting my grandson back in the car only to find that he has it all over his shoe and trouser leg.
This leads me nicely onto cats. I am sick of cats using my garden as a toilet. They scrat in my borders, poo on my lawn, even on the concrete. I have tried everything to stop them. I bought a catapult and fired pebbles near to them but they just sat on the fence waiting for the next one to chase, they thought it was a game.I bought a water pistol but all they did was go next door until I got fed up and went in, then they came back. I tried anti cat plants, pest sprays and powders, plastic bottles with water in, they love em all. Someone suggested peeing on the borders to stop them, apparently they don’t like the smell – Helloooo, neither do I. I want to stop pee on my garden, not add to it. If there is a way to get rid of them short of poisoning them let me know. They walk on my car, leaving paw prints, they sit on my garden hammock, and they treat my house like theirs if I dare to leave a door open. One has even climbed in a kitchen window smashing two ornaments and I found it upstairs in my bedroom.
